I Was Overwhelmed With Personifications
by Ame to Yume
Summary: "Weird things are guaranteed to happen when you get lost in Paris, and I found that out the hard way. Some of those things are so noteworthy, your friends push you to write about your epic adventure (or something) and post it on the internet." Rated K plus for now.


I was Overwhelmed With Personifications

Prologue

Weird things are guaranteed to happen when you get lost in Paris, and I found that out the hard way. Some of those thing are so noteworthy, your friends push you to write about your epic adventure (or something) and post it on the internet.

That being said, I want you to follow my adventures in a place full of noise, rude people, personifications, tourists (gah, tourists!)...

Wait a minute...personifications?

_17th of August, 2014  
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Getting Lost in Paris, and All That  
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"Fabien, we're lost in the middle of freakin' Paris, in an unnamed hotel, with no idea how to get us back to Lyon. Care to explain, please?"

If you didn't know better, you'd say that is a rather pertinent question. Now, if you're us, experience which is not very pleasant and should not be tried at home (screw that, it shouldn't be tried period!), you have to watch your friend Caroline crack her knuckles with an I'm-gonna-make-someone-suffer-today expression on her face while your other friend Fabien backs away while holding his hands up defensively and yelling "Not the face, not the face!" in a perfect embodiment of the whole cheese-eating surrendering monkey stereotype I have no idea who made up and wish would just go to hell.

For the record, all of us are French.

I'm Aimee, and though I happen to share my last name with Jean Jacques Rousseau, the impression I give off is not really imposing. In moments like this, I am really happy no one notices me, otherwise I'd be forced to partake in the madness that my friends create. Emile, who is Caro's habibi among other things, told her to calm down, in hopes of stopping her from using fighting moves that are illegal ever since the Geneva Convention. No such luck. Once Caro's got something though that thick skull of hers (literally), there is no way of turning back.

Then there was a sound of footsteps.

"I'm telling you, _Angleterre_, it'll be..."

We never got to hear how it will be, though, because a man who had humongous eyebrows and seemed to be named after a country of all things, halted the other and asked in a (sexy) British accent:

"Who are you?"

He was obviously referring to us. I could tell; he looked at us like we had just been teleported from another dimension, though technically, we got there on a train and Fabien promptly made us be late for the train back with his antics. Fabien _chéri_, do you realize mom is gonna shit bricks when she finds out I'm stuck hundreds of kilometers away, in freakin' _Paris!? _

Yeah. French parents. When they get mad, they flip planets in rage.

"Oh, I'm Caroline Aguillard, and I'm..."

"She's our Darksider." Anette intervened, causing Caroline to whack her over the shoulder, which Anette promptly responded to with a death glare "By the way, I'm Anette the Creepy People Watcher."

Anette let her black hair fall over half of her face and gave Captain Bushy-Brows and his partner that look. The look that would haunt me for years to come. Caroline clamped her hands over Anette's cheeks and forced Anette to look at her.

"Stop that."

Michelle lifted her hand. "I'm Michelle the Otaku, Anette's twin. My friends gave me the nickname Bunny if you must know."

No, Michelle, no. We didn't give you the nickname Bunny. You gave it to yourself while on a sugar high and giggling like a crack addict.

By the way, yes, you read right: Bunny really is the Otaku. In fact, all of us are the Otaku, to some degree. Here is something you should probably know about the good people of France: they import the most manga in the entire world, even more than the US. That says something.

"That guy over there is Emile." Michelle continued, pointing to Emile, who had an arm around Caroline and trying to talk her into not killing Fabien "He's Caroline's habibi and he doesn't talk much, but he is sweet and protects us. After all, he's our Guardian."

She pointed to Raymond, who was currently reading a book somewhere in the back, which is what he usually ends up doing.

"That's Raymond the Bookworm, and he doesn't talk much either. All he does is read all day, and he can't have fun at all."

Raymond lifted his eyes off of his book. "Oh, I can have fun alright, just not the type of fun you're thinking about."

Mr. Bushy-Brows had a look on his face that all in all said that he was already starting to like Raymond. I could not agree more, since aside from him and Emile, everyone in the group is just insane, insane, insane and...did I mention insane? (Luckily, there's no Department of Redundancy Department in France, or otherwise I'd be fined for thousands of unlicensed redundancies. Which makes even better when I come from a city that has a bank actually named the The Lyonese Credit. If you are from Lyon, then before you ask, yes, I'm talking about_ le LCL_.)

Michelle ignored him as she pointed to Jean "That's Jean the Obnoxious Moron, and the other guy over there is Fabien, the Genius. Oh, and I almost forgot about the Shadow!"

Oh, no, tell me she didn't.

"Bunny, I...-gah!"

Michelle dragged me from my comfortable place in the back and pushed me towards the two men.

"Come on, Aimee, tell them something about yourself!"

I froze. _Work, brain, work!_ I prompted my mind, but it was just like a car stuck in the mud. That is why I resorted to the second option. I said the first thing that came to mind.

"I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!"

That's not a lie, mind you. Jean and I had been going out for a few months now, and not even our group knows about this. Which is why I could swear they were looking at me like I just told them I was the reincarnation of Robespierre or something like that.

Meanwhile, Jean's face was promptly taking on the color of tomatoes.

"Jean and Aimee, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

I don't think we're ever gonna hear the end of this.

* * *

><p>Michelle lifted one finger. "So, you guys are, like...representatives?"<p>

"In fact, we are the countries themselves." Mr. Bushy-Brows, who we had just found out was named Arthur Kirkland (yes, bitch, THE Arthur Kirkland), corrected "We've been around for thousands of years."

Jean's face lit up like Christmas lights. "So, that means that, at some point, you had to be a pirate!" he leaned over towards Arthur "Oh my goodness, did you really make people walk on the plank?"

"Jean..." Annette sang, tapping her foot as a wave of patriotism took over her "Our country was close to conquering the entire motherfucking Europe, and all you care about is England being a pirate?!"

The other man, who represented the very country Anette was talking about, chuckled.

"Calm your tits and wait a sec, Chugoku." Caro suddenly intervened

Yes, we're Hetalia fans. It should be obvious, since we sometimes refer to eachother as the names of the Hetalia characters we are most like. For example, I am Canada and Raymond is England for obvious reasons, Anette was named Chugoku for her China-like obsession with Hello Kitty and pandas, and Caro wound up being called Frassia because she's sometimes like a weird love child of France and Russia (imagine THAT).

"Yeah, Frassia, what do you want?" Anette responded in the same manner

"Don't these guys remind you of anything? I mean, Arthur Kirkland? Francis Bonnefoy? Hadn't you heard these names before?"

"Yeah, in..." Bunny began loudly, but her voice died as she was overwhelmed with realization or something less melodramatic "Hetalia."

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><p><strong>AN: I had this random idea bouncing around my head for a few weeks now, and finally decided to write it down. I know it sucks, but it wasn't meant to be a masterpiece anyway.  
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**Love, **

**Ame to Yume **


End file.
